cover your bits, clown nose optional

9 11 2010

My dog wears a tu-tu. Everyone thinks it’s “cute”. We have her wearing it because it makes her no-licky-the-hoohah collar more effective, rather than for cute factor, but the cuteness is a nice gravy benefit.

But who cares? Why should a piece of fabric cause a reaction anyway? If it were someone’s 5-year old son, there’d be the well meaning but ultimately clueless and judgmental crass asses to deal with, and the potential for a sweet shiny eyed big hearted kid to learn way too soon that Being Yourself sometimes has consequences from people whose hearts haven’t grown as big as his has yet. What a harsh lesson so early, but what a neat person this kid has the potential to become with the support he’s got around him.

My man knows how to wear a dress. Frankly, he can rock one. And he’s manly, PLUS sweet, sensitive, and funny– a damned fine catch that I won the lottery by finding. (And dammit, he’s got nice gams too.)

In an ideal world, clothes’ function is simple: cover your naughty bits, protect you from the elements, and be comfortable for the task at hand. But we all know it’s more than that. It’s a brand. It’s a statement of YOU and how you view yourself, or want others to view you.

Every day, you put on a costume. Seriously. No, you don’t put on ONE outfit for each place, but you do have a set range of “acceptable” wear for each situation. My friend Delightful made a good point the other day that even the Goth kids have a “uniform” of sorts. Goth kid: I dress this way because it’s different. Reply: Yeah. But why do you look just like your other goth friends? (Disclaimer: I adore goths, and I confess to having a recessive goth gene myself– it’s the teen angst logic mismatch that gives me a giggle.) 

Some costuming examples for your amusement:

  • Church/Office/Nursing Home visit: Conservative suit or dress, yes. Hoochie sequins, fishnets, and the pink wig? No.
  • Susan Komen Run: Running shorts/etc, yes. Last year’s thrift store bubble-gum pink prom dress customized with grommets & ribbon up the back, with feather boa, YES. Conservative suit or dress, no.
  • Evening out on the town: Little black dress, flowy pants, hot designer jeans, heels, YES. Paint stained & holey old unshapen flannel sweatshirt, hubby’s jeans, hiking boots, No.
  • A day picking strawberries & flying kites: Paint stained & holey old unshapen flannel sweatshirt, hubby’s jeans, hiking boots, Yes. Little black dress, flowy pants, hot designer jeans, heels, No.

But somehow, no one needs to be told that it’s not a good idea to show up to the office in an elvis cape or a clown costume.

Even if a clown is THE most ironically appropriate thing. Rubber nose optional.

Elvis is thumbs up for Saving Hooters. Clearly this is promotion worthy attire, no?

don’t take yourself that seriously, I’m BEGGIN’ ya. sheesh.

4 11 2010

Thought for the day:

Please know that just because I’m having fun while doing something doesn’t mean that I’m not serious about it. Seriousness does not have to look frowny, mean or worse yet: boring. Sadly, sometimes people think they go hand in hand.

Now get out there and help me change that.

So there.

Carry on.

what makes a favorite a favorite?

4 11 2010

There’s a local watering hole bar, perched on the lake. It’s really NOT our favorite spot, but somehow we always end up drawn there, and always have a great time. Usually we’re there pre or post boating, but this particular day was a crisp fall day. Too gorgeous not to get out and enjoy the view of the water. We sure seem to be at this spot often enough that it could easily be moniker’d as one of our favorites. But yet we still don’t label it that way ourselves.

Hmm. Why IS that? The places/things that are NOT your favorites, somehow you’re still drawn to. Heh?

Like that ratty-ass sweatshirt you really (REALLY) should let go of, that you’re not so fond of either for that matter, that still gets way more wear than your absolute mostest favoritest that sits unused and lonely in the closet. By the time you do get around to wearing the favorite one, somewhere along the way it changed on you (gasp!) and now doesn’t fit quite the way you remember, and were the sleeves always like that? In the meantime, you missed out on it when it WAS your favorite, and for what? A crowded closet, and a neglected pristine shirt that is no longer your favorite afterall and is well past its expiration date.

Doesn’t have a dang thing to do with olives, but there ya have it. We enjoyed the day and the maybe-it-is-your-favorite-afterall-but-you-don’t-realize-it bar so much we created a little friend to enjoy it with us. It appears he eventually had a little too much to drink though. Must’ve been tipsy from marinating in the bloody mary for too long, I guess.

Get out there with your favorite (whatever), and wear/use/love the hell out of it. While it still IS your favorite!

PS—Olives are my favoritest garnish on a bloody mary. Who wants one?

mmm, tasty

THANK you, Delightful, for documenting our little friend.
And to EastOfTheWest for getting us out of the house to begin with.
(Both of whom I’m honored to call favorites, and to wear/use/love the hell out of!)

coming soon to a screen near you

29 09 2010

Yeah, still here. Where’d I go? Nowhere in particular. Nothing unusually noteworthy to write home about, other than the usual cadre of many wonderful and exciting tiny details of everydayness.

I just went *poof* for a while. No reason.

Very moved and overwhelmed by some terribly kind words here. 🙂 *sniff* (The feeling’s mutual, Izzie Dahling…) And this WILL be passed on.

But not right this minute.  Right this minute off to the vet, for more meds for Leeloominai. (I can’t believe she’s tolerating a diaper for her ouchie coochie so well, I doubt I’d be so accommodating.)

Soon though. As in “coming soon to a screen near you”.

to those that fall into the gap, I e-hug you

12 06 2010

No pic today, camera crapping out. Blame a pending solar flare. Everyone else is.

The random thought: Facebook needs a category for the “so-so” friends.

I found an old friend today on FB. And was damn giddy to do so. And I found a new friend today on FB. And was ALSO damn giddy to do that too. But what about the ones inbetween?

As in, you see someone you kinda-sorta knew in the past, or kinda-sorta know now, attached to someone you’re already friends with, but then there’s that third undefinable class that falls into the gap. So for A) you generally want to say “hey, you were neat, I remember you! Howdy!”. Or you want to say something similar for that category B), only with future tense of course.

Long story short, either way you do want to reach out and give them a brief remembrance or new howdy kind of e-hug, but what about when in either case you also generally don’t want a lasting “friendship” commitment? That’s type C) In The Gap.

No real point, other than C is the middle ground gap between Friends, and People-You-Kinda-Sorta-Know-But-Still-Want-To-Spread-Some-Brief-Mojo-To.

So for those In The Gap, I e-hug you.

And that is all. Goodnight.

Enough. Love ya. But I love me more.

14 05 2010

Have you EVER, seen a post from me that’s not seeing the brighter side? Even when I’m in the worst stress of my life (you unplug your mom from the ventilator, find some goodness in there somehow, and THEN come talk to me about how you handled it), I really do everything I can to find what it is that makes this moment real. Because that’s all we’ve got. Moments. (And THANK YOU yoga, I could not have survived this past year otherwise. Big green hearts and lotsa love—)

First, let me preface by admitting full on up front: I know I’m in a s#!t-a$$ mood today. And I’m sure I’ll have dreams about losing teeth later, because I’m questioning whether I’m playing fast & loose with my words here. But you know what, This Is Me today. It’s real. And I have sat on it long enough (far longer than I care to admit) to make sure it’s really what I’m thinking, and not some quirk of transient mood state. Because this has nothing to do with one day’s mood– unfortunately, it’s broader and longer than that.

Are you one of those smart folks that know exactly what to say, at the minute you need to say it? If we’re all bantering, sure. I guess I am. But I’m never on the lookout for meanness. It simply doesn’t occur to me– just not wired that way. So when someone’s getting little digs in, it stops me in my tracks, cold. I stand bewildered, blink a few times, and then carry on. Because surely that didn’t just happen. I mean why would it? I’m a Truster. 

My horoscope today:

There’s a huge difference between being nice and being kind. Usually, being nice involves saying ‘yes’ to too much stuff that you don’t actually want to do in order to get people to like you. Being kind, on the other hand, usually involves thinking independently and long-term, and saying ‘no’ to things when you know they’re just going to be more trouble for everyone in the future. You need to make the distinction soon.

I tend to purposely read a horoscope somewhere around mid-day, rather than at the very beginning.

And terribly apropos. Because I’ve been stewing in “it” (not the same as soaking!), going over every last bit– let’s see:

  • Am I over reacting? (No.)
  • Is it just directed at me or at everyone. (Not just me. Others have quietly come to me all freaked out by the same behavior directed at them. But I’m the current favorite target, esp lately. And it’s currently the Elephant In The Room. But that’s a post for another day.)
  • Do I deserve snark? (No.)
  • Am I an a$$ and am equally unaware of my impact on others? (I don’t think so. I’m sure I have my blind spots, but living your best life, and all it’s wonderful struggles that come with it, should never be a personal affront to anyone. I want you to live Your Best Life. And share your journey! That’s my definition of friend. But that’s ALSO a post for another day, isn’t it?)
  • Is their behavior a reflection on me? (No.)
  • Is it stemming from jealousy on their part? (Likely)
  • Or am I just saying that to make myself feel better? (Thinking… Um, No. Still NO. Definitive no.) 
  • Does everyone else see it too? (Yes. But because I don’t make a big deal about it on purpose to keep the peace, they see it, then look to me for reaction, and see me Letting It Go.)

It was like this at a point in the past, and I damn near bailed then. Shame on me for not trusting my gut. Shame on me for looking (and digging, and searching) for the good behind the ick TOO long. Shame on me for not recognizing a bully when I see one. Again. I’ll take that shame. I’d rather be an open-hearted me, than an in-the-dark them.

I do think it’s totally unconscious. I send nothing but love their direction, but that doesn’t mean I have to stick around and be a punching bag waiting for their own self-awareness to kick in either. The 80/20 applies here. 80% of your X, comes from 20% of your Y. Whether that’s 80% of your income from 20% of your efforts, or 80% of your heartburn from 20% of your friends/customers/family/whatever, either way. As for mine, for now it’s Penalty Box time. I guess I’m finally quietly reducing that 20% causing the 80% of my heartburn. Slowly. Slowly. Right? (Another nod to my yogi’s out there.)

Besides, it’s the kindest thing I can do.