cover your bits, clown nose optional

9 11 2010

My dog wears a tu-tu. Everyone thinks it’s “cute”. We have her wearing it because it makes her no-licky-the-hoohah collar more effective, rather than for cute factor, but the cuteness is a nice gravy benefit.

But who cares? Why should a piece of fabric cause a reaction anyway? If it were someone’s 5-year old son, there’d be the well meaning but ultimately clueless and judgmental crass asses to deal with, and the potential for a sweet shiny eyed big hearted kid to learn way too soon that Being Yourself sometimes has consequences from people whose hearts haven’t grown as big as his has yet. What a harsh lesson so early, but what a neat person this kid has the potential to become with the support he’s got around him.

My man knows how to wear a dress. Frankly, he can rock one. And he’s manly, PLUS sweet, sensitive, and funny– a damned fine catch that I won the lottery by finding. (And dammit, he’s got nice gams too.)

In an ideal world, clothes’ function is simple: cover your naughty bits, protect you from the elements, and be comfortable for the task at hand. But we all know it’s more than that. It’s a brand. It’s a statement of YOU and how you view yourself, or want others to view you.

Every day, you put on a costume. Seriously. No, you don’t put on ONE outfit for each place, but you do have a set range of “acceptable” wear for each situation. My friend Delightful made a good point the other day that even the Goth kids have a “uniform” of sorts. Goth kid: I dress this way because it’s different. Reply: Yeah. But why do you look just like your other goth friends? (Disclaimer: I adore goths, and I confess to having a recessive goth gene myself– it’s the teen angst logic mismatch that gives me a giggle.) 

Some costuming examples for your amusement:

  • Church/Office/Nursing Home visit: Conservative suit or dress, yes. Hoochie sequins, fishnets, and the pink wig? No.
  • Susan Komen Run: Running shorts/etc, yes. Last year’s thrift store bubble-gum pink prom dress customized with grommets & ribbon up the back, with feather boa, YES. Conservative suit or dress, no.
  • Evening out on the town: Little black dress, flowy pants, hot designer jeans, heels, YES. Paint stained & holey old unshapen flannel sweatshirt, hubby’s jeans, hiking boots, No.
  • A day picking strawberries & flying kites: Paint stained & holey old unshapen flannel sweatshirt, hubby’s jeans, hiking boots, Yes. Little black dress, flowy pants, hot designer jeans, heels, No.

But somehow, no one needs to be told that it’s not a good idea to show up to the office in an elvis cape or a clown costume.

Even if a clown is THE most ironically appropriate thing. Rubber nose optional.

Elvis is thumbs up for Saving Hooters. Clearly this is promotion worthy attire, no?

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