not for the easily offended. dog hoohah trials & tribulations

5 11 2010

Hi. My name is geauxgirl, and my dog has crotch rot.

There. I said it. Whew.

Leeloo, despite our affinity for calling her Madame Queen, or the more formalized version Madame Queen Fuzzy Butt,  has never really been a diva dog. She’s wash & wear, a generally laid back kind of gal (except for the doorbell, then all bets are off). She’s never had an in-your-face kind of personality. Mellow. Chill. Happy go lucky. Aloof almost, and dare I say it: cool. She has an air about her that’s the popular kids’ table at school. As in “thank you very much, I have enough friends already, now give me the treat or leave.  Whatever.”

But lately, she’s had some, er, medical issues. Specifically, her twat got all inflamed, and her dragging it on the ground pushed it up to her butt. Yeah, she’s a delicate flower.

When the vet stammers, hems & haws, shuffles from foot to foot, and finally spits out in a nervous rush: “Weeellll…… ithinkshemightneedacoochietuck”, all in one word, then don’t be surprised when I laugh so fast and hard that I spit chai out my nose.

Her delicate skin has to get a little less inflamed before we can “take care of bidness” for her. So in the meantime she’s been in a pillow collar (the new & improved version of the cone-of-shame, looks like an airplane neck pillow to me) for about 6 or 7 weeks now. It’s been fairly effective, but if she’s really determined she can contort just barely enough so that she can lick the good stuff. And that keeps her at about 80% healed, rather than all the way. Oye. So what to do?

Happy accidents happen. The other day, we found a tu-tu in the closet (it’s out of the closet! bad pun, couldn’t resist) and threw it on for grins. Well as it turns out, the tu-tu makes the collar MORE effective– as it pushes it just a bit closer to her ears, making it harder to get to the bits that need lickin’.

So she’s been in a tu-tu AND a collar ever since. You’d think she’d be miserable, but I swear she’s enjoying the hell out of it– check out that smile. Maybe she’s a diva afterall, we just never noticed.

America's Next Top Model is... LEELOO!




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