memorial day is for Remembering, all kinds

31 05 2010

Today I finally broke out the soldering iron. One of the windows I inherited needs some repair and a little TLC.

I suppose I have been subconsciously dragging my feet about doing glass, as it occurred to me just yesterday that I wouldn’t NOT be able to think about mother the entire time. As much as she’s on my mind already, I wasn’t sure if that would be rubbing salt in a wound or what.

Turns out, I ended up as engrossed as she would get doing it. And yes, she’s soooo on my mind.

But it’s in a surprisingly calm way. It’s almost as if she and I are doing artsy-fartsy stuff together and trading stories like a couple of girlfriends catching up after a long absense. One story she reminded me of, was that this was her Very First Window (circa 1979?), and I swear I even heard her remind me of a solder trick to help smooth out the (her!) wonky slag line.

It’s been too long, momma. Missed you. And I remember.

I can’t wait for us to do it again.


80’s kids sing it with me now: sometimes it feels like… somebody’s waaaatchin’ MEEeeeee…………

28 05 2010

Let’s see. Most of the time Amazon’s recommendations are in a nutshell: wonked. Mostly because we just ordered some smack garbage as a gift for someone (The History of Monster Trucks! I kid…), or found some oddball thing that we viewed for sport (Wolf T-shirt anyone?) rather than because we were actually interested. (Pfft. Hush up. You know you do it too.)

But today’s “Recommendations”, were frankly kinda eerie.

Make your own conclusions:

· Anatomy for Yoga. (shocker)

· Reading Light. (Backstory: the exact reading light my newfound mastah-yogi-sistah-gurl so kindly gave me.)

· Confessions of a Failed Southern Lady. (Hey, wait a minute… fail = learning, in my book)

· Not Tonight Honey, Wait til I’m a size 6. (anyone else feeling bloated?)

· And Stones of the New Consciousness. (Wait, how do they magically munge two topics that have recently separately snared my attention?)

Amazon, me thinketh you’re watching me.

Either that, or I haven’t been buying many gifts lately.

For other people. <cringe>

balance, schmalance

25 05 2010

I never figured myself for a balance freak. Sure, I did gymnastics as a kid (a min of 2 hours a day, EVERY day, eight on weekends) but I despised balance beam.  But now that I’m all-growed-up, apparently I have a *thing* for balance. Wakesurfing, Yoga, Slacklining, plus throw in a little Indo-board and um, heh? For cryin’ out loud, I’m even obsessed with balancing ROCKS. Turns out I’m a balancin’ fool. (Meanwhile my friends are saying Nice Grasp of the Obvious there missy.)

But really, I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s no such thing as balance.


Think about it– you’re either too far in front, or too far behind. If you try to find the finite spot that is the perfect balance, boom, over you go. But if you keep moving– a little more this way, a little more back the other way– you find “balance”.

Hmm. So maybe Balance exists. But isn’t a Thing. It’s a state of motion.

Or maybe it’s hiding under the label of Harmony. Today I might be too much of this, and tomorrow I’ll be too much of that, but as long as I keep crossing over that midline back and forth I hope I can find that finite moment in there, even if it’s only for a split second.

Whatever its name, I guess I better keep moving if I’m gonna find it then.

*yoga pic: By the way, no my feet aren’t that cartoon-ish, I’m proudly sporting my Vibram Five Fingers. Rock on, fellow VFF’ers! (The rest of you know you want some.)

the dragon whisperer

15 05 2010

So he’s got a bit of the fire-breath thing going on. He’s still a cutie. Besides, I think they like a little cooing, and a scratch under the chinny-chin-chin before we climb on board.

At least ours seemed to– we medaled again this year.

“Dragon Whisperer” might be pushing it, but then again a good dragon mojo goes a long way.

Enough. Love ya. But I love me more.

14 05 2010

Have you EVER, seen a post from me that’s not seeing the brighter side? Even when I’m in the worst stress of my life (you unplug your mom from the ventilator, find some goodness in there somehow, and THEN come talk to me about how you handled it), I really do everything I can to find what it is that makes this moment real. Because that’s all we’ve got. Moments. (And THANK YOU yoga, I could not have survived this past year otherwise. Big green hearts and lotsa love—)

First, let me preface by admitting full on up front: I know I’m in a s#!t-a$$ mood today. And I’m sure I’ll have dreams about losing teeth later, because I’m questioning whether I’m playing fast & loose with my words here. But you know what, This Is Me today. It’s real. And I have sat on it long enough (far longer than I care to admit) to make sure it’s really what I’m thinking, and not some quirk of transient mood state. Because this has nothing to do with one day’s mood– unfortunately, it’s broader and longer than that.

Are you one of those smart folks that know exactly what to say, at the minute you need to say it? If we’re all bantering, sure. I guess I am. But I’m never on the lookout for meanness. It simply doesn’t occur to me– just not wired that way. So when someone’s getting little digs in, it stops me in my tracks, cold. I stand bewildered, blink a few times, and then carry on. Because surely that didn’t just happen. I mean why would it? I’m a Truster. 

My horoscope today:

There’s a huge difference between being nice and being kind. Usually, being nice involves saying ‘yes’ to too much stuff that you don’t actually want to do in order to get people to like you. Being kind, on the other hand, usually involves thinking independently and long-term, and saying ‘no’ to things when you know they’re just going to be more trouble for everyone in the future. You need to make the distinction soon.

I tend to purposely read a horoscope somewhere around mid-day, rather than at the very beginning.

And terribly apropos. Because I’ve been stewing in “it” (not the same as soaking!), going over every last bit– let’s see:

  • Am I over reacting? (No.)
  • Is it just directed at me or at everyone. (Not just me. Others have quietly come to me all freaked out by the same behavior directed at them. But I’m the current favorite target, esp lately. And it’s currently the Elephant In The Room. But that’s a post for another day.)
  • Do I deserve snark? (No.)
  • Am I an a$$ and am equally unaware of my impact on others? (I don’t think so. I’m sure I have my blind spots, but living your best life, and all it’s wonderful struggles that come with it, should never be a personal affront to anyone. I want you to live Your Best Life. And share your journey! That’s my definition of friend. But that’s ALSO a post for another day, isn’t it?)
  • Is their behavior a reflection on me? (No.)
  • Is it stemming from jealousy on their part? (Likely)
  • Or am I just saying that to make myself feel better? (Thinking… Um, No. Still NO. Definitive no.) 
  • Does everyone else see it too? (Yes. But because I don’t make a big deal about it on purpose to keep the peace, they see it, then look to me for reaction, and see me Letting It Go.)

It was like this at a point in the past, and I damn near bailed then. Shame on me for not trusting my gut. Shame on me for looking (and digging, and searching) for the good behind the ick TOO long. Shame on me for not recognizing a bully when I see one. Again. I’ll take that shame. I’d rather be an open-hearted me, than an in-the-dark them.

I do think it’s totally unconscious. I send nothing but love their direction, but that doesn’t mean I have to stick around and be a punching bag waiting for their own self-awareness to kick in either. The 80/20 applies here. 80% of your X, comes from 20% of your Y. Whether that’s 80% of your income from 20% of your efforts, or 80% of your heartburn from 20% of your friends/customers/family/whatever, either way. As for mine, for now it’s Penalty Box time. I guess I’m finally quietly reducing that 20% causing the 80% of my heartburn. Slowly. Slowly. Right? (Another nod to my yogi’s out there.)

Besides, it’s the kindest thing I can do.

for you five fingers types

11 05 2010

Some links for my VFF friends–

Got a longer second toe? (Morton’s toe) Mod your shoes here.

I’ve never had foot odor problems (lucky I guess), but eventually even my VFF’s got a slight whiff of the funk. (Belize has some hearty microbes I guess.) Long thread on how to get the stank out here. The gist of which is, Oxy-Clean and a toothbrush on occasion.

Speaking of which, make your own Oxy-Clean here. Uber simple.

I can’t wait for new colors to come out– I foresee a second pair in my future.

where in the world is geauxgirl?

11 05 2010

OK, I just realized I haven’t posted in a while. So the random thought dump shall commence:

  • Belize was faboo. Already posted a wee bit about it, but I’m sure there’s more to say. 🙂 Still finding random bits of sand, which always makes me grin. Go stay with our friends there–
  • I have stuff to mail to friends (physical snail mail), but can’t seem to find boxes to fit.
  • Finally flinched and bought a Kindle. Loving the thing, now if only I could have more than 10 mins at a time to read. Looking forward to some free time, maybe in July or August?
  • Went to AZ for 2 days of Sales Readiness meetings. I hadn’t seen the majority of these folks since August 2008, so it was “old home” week for me, catching up with everyone. I really do get to work with some of the most fantastic people ever.
  • Lovey flew to AZ just after the conference ended– his Uncle lives there, and we did all kinds of running around: Frank Lloyd Wright’s Taliesin West, the #1 ever built Microsoft Store, a little margarita making lesson for our hosts, plus a day at Sedona.
  • Missing my local yoga peeps terribly, so much travel means I haven’t been there in what feels like ages.
  • Fourth quarter (fiscal) is upon us, and I’m feelin’ it.
  • Much laundry commencing today– a quick overnight jaunt to Boston is in my future this week. Looking forward to trying to squeeze in seeing SOMEbody, somehow or another. So there.
  • And Saturday is the Dragon Boat Festival here, I’m competing on a team for the 3rd year in a row.

In the meantime, Leeloo is having a farty day. Oye. Thank heavens I don’t have a lot of con calls, as it’s always tough to not either a) fuss at her, b) laugh/snort uncontrollably, or c) both. Hmm. Maybe I should load up on something that gives me “the wind”– and pay her little fuzzy butt back in kind.

If only we had some cabbage, garlic, and mass quantities of mentos, she’d so be IN for it….